Astor Bidet CB-1000 Review

This really gets your sphincter cleans!

My Astor Bidet Review and Video should help you make an educated purchasing decision. Read and watch to learn about the pros and cons of this bidet attachment.

I can’t deny that I often feel like a very fancy man not meant for this Urban-American environment which I have spent my entire life in. When I fantasize about where I’d like to be, where I BELONG, I picture the sunny side of a European meadow. And in my quaint little cottage farmhouse, I take a break from a social gathering of friends and family to stop inside to drop a huge dump into my bidet-equipped toilet. Being that I live in a rural European town, I don’t have to second guess myself about whether or not my butthole is clean enough to go straight from dropping a toilet snake to a possible romantic encounter with my European super model girlfriend who waits for me outside with a cold bottle of Chimay Ale and a private region as wet as my brown eye after spraying it down with my built-in bidet.

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Dirty Butts In America (and how you can avoide being a “normie”)

Reality is, in America, a bidet is simply not normal. Americans walk around with smelly bung holes. Think about it. The typical American is okay with dropping a messy load of poo in the toilet, then simply spreading around the residual fecal matter with dry paper. Can you believe that kind of disgusting hygiene routine?

In comes the Astor Bidet CB-1000. I spent around $23.00 for this bidet and have been using it for a couple years now. It was super easy to install and has changed my life in a lot of ways. I used to always take a shower after a bowel movement. I would never, ever be comfortable having a steaming turd slide through my hairy ass crack then only rubbing my anus area with paper. Now, I can stay seated and get my ass super clean with a powerful blast of water. IT’s refreshing and energizing.


This thing is amazing. It really is. I can quickly and easily clean my butt without resorting to having to take a shower to truly get and feel clean. Installation is a snap and durability has been excellent.

My only gripe is that pieces of poo will start to spray around inside of the toilet into places that flushing alone won’t clean. This can be countered by simply staying on top of keeping your toilet clean. I hope this Astor Bidet Review and Video has been helpful for you.

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