Crippling Alcoholism Review

Don’t you hate is when you decide you’re going to get drunk but you don’t have enough alcohol to comfortably drink the night away? That’s exactly what happened here.

Allow me to introduce to you Mike “Make It A Double” O’Brien. Last night, after working for a good 12 hours, he decided he was going to have himself a time with some alcoholic beverages. There was no reason to wake up early the next morning, so why not overindulge in some alcohol? He remembered he had a brand new six pack of Michelob Ultras in the refrigerator, not to mention a bottle of wine, so he though for sure he was set.

Within an hour, the wine was gone. It was a bottle of Barefoot Chardonnay. Next, it was time for the beers. Mike was having a fun time with his alcohol. He was now down a bottle of wine and two beers and feeling great. Unfortunately, when he went for beer #3, reality and panic set in. Mike wasn’t all that drunk and there were only 3 beers left. With 89% battery left on his iPhone 4, plenty of juice to send drunken texts to exgirlfriends, play Homerun Battle 3D and possible write some new raps for iPhoneRaps.com, 3 beers weren’t going to cut it. Now, instead of enjoying his night, he’s closely monitoring every sip, constantly tabulating how much longer the last of his alcohol will last.

This is when alcoholism can really cause you to make some wacky decisions. Mike spent a good 5 minutes debating how, exactly, he could get the most out of his remaining three beers. Sure, he was a little buzzed, but he wanted to get drunk. The answer finally became clear: Chug one of the beers, sip on the last two, then hope to pass out. Will it work?

Nope. Mike was left somewhere between buzzed and drunk. This could be referred to as Alcoholic Purgatory: Too drunk to drive but not drunk enough to let loose any/all inhibitions and just relax. It’s really a shitty place to be.

If you like to indulge in some late night drinking, I’m sure you can relate. If you don’t have more than enough on hand, you’re simply going to have a miserable time drinking because you’re constantly worried about running out.